If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
