i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize