yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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