So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
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Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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