Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
