If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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