is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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