i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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