i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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