yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
