He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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