Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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