I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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