the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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