I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
