maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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