Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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