it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
