4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
