you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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