I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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