when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
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My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
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Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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