well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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