wat bout pragnant strippers??
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize