She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There's always time for handjobs
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
