I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I love you.
Bad choice
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
