I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just forgot I was standing up.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
