WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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