the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
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he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
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TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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