It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
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She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
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It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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