You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
