I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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