is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
