i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
