I am in a vortex of obligation.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
