I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
