i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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