so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
