some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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