her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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