come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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