i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize