Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
