More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
