This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
