i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
