That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize