My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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