had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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