His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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