yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
