I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
