So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
