Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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