We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
