Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Randomize