HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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