That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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