is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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