I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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