one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
