i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
