Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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