just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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