i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I puked a lego.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
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It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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