I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
