We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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