Define "chronic" masturbator.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
