Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
The ass gains better be worth it
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