That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
