Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
