after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
