Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
