I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
